Realization

I have realized so much about myself. I jumped from woman to woman in the past because they all offered something different.... Plus I was a little full of myself and it was about conquering as many as I could... I think. Plus being hurt by someone you really care about makes you think about why you choose them in the first place. I think back to people like Angie who I thought was the love of my life. I thought that we worked perfectly together and that she was the one.... And them my thoughts changed to I hope she is the one to... I thought she was the one to... I wish she was the one. I tried to make all of the bad things she did, not so bad. And after she did the last thing... I think I fell out of love. Time past and we tried to believe that our original feelings would surpass all odds.
I wanted it to....
But it didn't and I was left with so much hate for her and so much hate for women. The curse she had on me was finally broken and I had no need for her any more.
So that's when I decided that there is no perfect women. There is always at least one good thing about every women and I wanted feel and taste that one part... All of them
So surrounding myself with many women
Figuring out what was there good part
And only being apart of that was what I cared about
... something as small as being a good cook. I would come over and have you cook for me- and that it. No sex, no cuddling, no hanging out. I would use you for the one think I thought was great about you. And as soon as I figured out that one thing, I didn't really want to know anymore about you. .... Crazy right
And fucked up